Erma Bombeck got it right.

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States. " Erma Bombeck, Famout Empty Nester.

Husband is at a conference out of town; daughter is off making a life for herself. It's just me and the cat with Alzheimer's here at home this weekend. Truly, an empty nest.

This quote from one of the funniest and wisest women who ever lived - Erma Bombeck - got me thinking about my current "role" as a mother. It's true that for two decades I was a sort of supervisor of my daughter's life, guiding her, disciplining her ( altho she rarely needed it!), and generally making sure that she survived from milestone to milestone. I pretty much was in charge of her daily nutrition, I was her mode of transportation, I kept her clothes wearable, and made sure she was on time and prepared for her daily obligations.

Then the teen years hit and I was a little superfluous. Still needed for many things, mostly financial (!) but not the end-all-be-all decision maker I once was.

Now, with the advent of legal maturity I am not only superfluous, I am a bystander in any and all decisions and actions now made. My opinions are still valued - so I am told - but I don't have veto power for things I disagree with. Truth be told, there have be no decisions that I actually disagree with, but it's the thought that there may be some in the future that I won't have a say in that makes me a little faclempt!

Is this how a President feels when he's voted out of office?? Where did all my power, my "My way or the highway" authority, my voice, go? I now must learn to deal with an adult who kind of looks like my little girl, but has powerful, adult and independent opinions that equal in strength and conviction to my own.
And that sometimes differ from mine.

I liked my power. I was good at being an authority figure. I exelled at making decisions for someone else.
Now I have to make them only for myself and be accountable only for myself.
This is terrifying.

YOu know you did a good job as a parent when your child leaves home and is a fully formed, cognizant, independent, and responsible human being.
I did a good job!!

But sometimes, I must admit, I long for those times that brought me such joy as a Mom. Those good morning hugs and smiles; the talk with a snack time spent after school days; the last kiss goodnite.

The cat just doesn't cut it as a substitute, folks.For one thing, she sleeps most of the day. For another, her breath stinks like tuna, so kisses are out of the question if I don't want to gag.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could keep our kids at one age for more than just a year at a time?
Oh well. Think I'll go see where kitty is currently napping.